Trout are funny fish that normally live in streams
And people try to catch them ...even in their dreams
But farmers don’t have the streams... It’s mostly sheep and lambs
And all the water that they need is stored in great big dams.
But trout are great adaptors and what they need is feed
And a great big pool to live in is very good indeed
So into our best storage dam two hundred trout released
A bit of food and we’ll soon see their length and weight increased.
We bought the finest food that trout all love to eat
And all the flying insects made the diet quite complete.
We watched them grow and waited til they reached an eating weight
Then checked our fishing tackle and produced the perfect bait.
The line was cast let the game begin we waited for the bite.
We cast again and waited and still no trout in sight
We decided that our timing perhaps was the reason why
So came back in the evening and tried a handmade fly.
No sign of fish no splash was there to show that they survived
Or did they know that we were there and danger had arrived.
We fished at dawn and through the night and even in the rain
And next day changed our bait as well and did it all again.
We all fancy that we’re very smart so we put our brains together
To prove that we were smartest in this human-trout endeavour
We tried them with the trout food that they thrived on all their lives
And even tried some special mince with garlic and some chives.
We dreamed up strange concoctions to try to catch some dinner
And the brains of four smart people would surely be the winner.
But still no trout to grill or smoke, ‘twas all to no avail.
We never see a single sign of splash or fin or scale.
Experts came from miles around with things that never failed
It was wondrous just to watch them with the work that it entailed
Handmade flies of local bugs that fly around the dam
And peas and cheese and sweet corn and a thing called peanut jam.
We now don’t do much fishing and the dam is left alone
We sometimes walk around it as a fishing no go zone
And then just occasionally when we least expect surprise
A bloody great big trout leaps out right before our eyes.
It’s become a thing of legend and the fishermen debate
The problem is the fish themselves and not the rigs or bait
What started out a great idea to have some fishing fun
The crew at Duke’s will all agree THE BLOODY TROUT HAVE WON.